As any fan of ScriptGirl (and what red-blooded American male isn’t?) or member of TrackingB (one of the best modest investments you’ll ever make) will tell you, lately studios have green-lit movies about obscure toys from 2000 (Max Steel?!) and popular toys from 1939 (View-Master), but that’s about it. Oh yeah, and the ancient video game Asteroids. Because apparently the Wizard of Wor’s agent was asking for too much.
Yes, friends and neighbors, right now the spec market is as dead as Dillinger. That means bleeding on a sidewalk, the-bank-vault-is-closed dead. According to another invaluable resource, Jason Scoggins’ Life on the Bubble.com, 39 specs went out wide in June and guess how many sold?
Hint: It’s a number between negative 1 and 1.
Zero. Zippo. Not a single one. Seven sold that had been kicking around for awhile, two of which had major talent attachments.
Okay, it’s only one month, the industry starts coasting after Memorial Day, yadda yadda. So let’s throw in May, too. Bunch of specs hit the marketplace in May. You’re probably thinking, “I bet a bunch of those sold, right?”
One did.
According to Scoggins, 73 specs went out in 10 weeks, fully repped and professionally marketed to friendly buyers, and exactly one sold.
Can you say “contraction?” This market’s tighter than a platypus sphincter.
Ready for the good news? C’mon, off the ledge. Put the noose and the step-stool back in the closet.
It’s actually a good sign that stuff like Max Steel and View-Master are what they’re down to. Happily, like fossil fuels, gold and Jimi Hendrix music, existing pop culture is a nonrenewable resource. Once you run out of old stuff, you have to make something new. With few exceptions, most everything they’re doing is firmly rooted in the past and the newer franchises are being bled dry quick. The way Hollywood is strip-mining our memories, the day isn’t far off when there simply won’t be another popular toy, video game or TV show even remotely worth turning into a movie.
They will have to develop new properties.
If you come up with family-friendly, internationally viable concepts executed in 21st Century style — stuff that might make good toys, comics, games, and bed sheets — someone is bound to see dollar signs.
Everything and everyone is a commodity to these people. If it has universal appeal and is easily marketed, transferable to multiple platforms and brand licenses, it has value.
They have to keep feeding the beast. Human beings are voracious consumers of entertainment. I think if we’re patient, before too long there will be an opening for creative people who understand the global marketplace. Will you be ready?
Check out the sites I’ve mentioned here and in the past, get a feel for what’s viable, and start conceiving your commodities. In a couple of years, your ideas might be exactly what a desperate Hollywood is looking for.
In the meantime, in hopes of speeding up the process, I’ve compiled a list of ridiculous but well-known “nostalgia” properties the industry should buy up and ram into development now, so we can just get them the hell out of the way as soon as possible:
• Pet Rock
• Fruit Roll-Ups
• T.J. Hooker (oops, they beat me to it)
• The Psychic Friends Network
• Cheaters (syndicated TV show)
• Fundies (two-person underwear)
• Chia Pet
• Thighmaster
• Flowbee
• Microsoft Excel
Last and very possibly least…
• Family Circus
(Worst comic strip. EVER.)