May 24, 2010
3-D Conversions Turn Movies into Mud
Seizing the latest 3-D craze with the trembling hands of a greedy prospector swiping his neighbor’s gold nugget, the studios immediately tried to “up-convert” new iterations of Alice in Wonderland and Clash of the Titans. As you may know, the tenor of audience reactions ranged from indifferent to disgusted. Given the hefty surcharge slapped on their tickets, few moviegoers felt like they got their money’s worth for this half-baked experience. It’s probably the baldest cash-grab this business has perpetrated since…oh, well, since the 3-D craze of the 50’s. That’s when muddy images and headaches soured the public’s taste for the technology. Huh, you’d think Hollywood would do its homework on its history, right?
Louis Leterrier, director of the Clash of the Titans remake, confessed to The Hollywood Reporter at the film’s premiere that he told the 3-D conversion team, “Don’t make it so much like a View-Master—so…so puffied up.” Apparently, they didn’t listen—or this 3-D conversion technology is about as much like a 747 as those wacky propeller-powered chairs the earliest aviators used to drive off cliffs. Meaning, it’s a little too soon to start taking your customers’ money and sending them for a ride. But readers of this blog should rejoice that the View-Master movie we’ve been anticipating so eagerly could enjoy 3-D tailor-made for it. Hell, you could probably justify another price hike for those tix!
These days, a tweet or simple status update can really spread the word, and I’m hoping the word is out on 3-D conversions. I’m actually pretty optimistic that right now, a sixth-grader in Dubuque, IA is giving his buddy a sage look and saying, “3-D conversions are crap. Unless it’s shot in 3-D, I’m not going.”
I’ve always been a proponent of the third dimension in cinema for its immersive potential and pure fun factor. But putting out a shoddy product is taking the bloom off this rose. Hollywood better work out the bugs in the process or we’ll go from boom to backlash in a hurry as history repeats itself.
9 Comments
Hey Stogie,
I’m with you 100% on this. Can’t understand why anyone would pay for this dreg they call 3-D. Maybe it’s because their 2-dumb to figure out their getting RIPPED-OFF.
Thanks for making a stand on this.
marc
I have never seen a 3D movie I liked, but when the effect is put in AFTER filming-ugh! And who can afford to pay $40-50 for a family of four to go to a less than spectacular movie? Rather go to the Olive Garden! Thanks for speaking out on all of our behalf! And then there are all of those remakes…don’t get me started on those! As a writer, I keep wondering, so many of us are out here- how about letting a few of us submit our work?!Fresh ideas, fresh perspective, creativity… Oh, that’s right, we don’t have a connection, so the doors stay closed! Sorry, just venting. Keep up the good work. Heather
Oh, how shocking! Hollywood overlooking quality for the big buck! This 3D craze is ridiculous! I’m sick of it already and I’ve only watched one in the theater. I left ten dollars poorer and with a big headache. I blame the public. They’re the morons who keep on buying tickets to these empty firework shows. The same morons that stand in line for an iphone. We need to educate the public. Show them some classics that didn’t need special effects to sell tickets. We’re getting dumber. I say we stop remaking these films and just re-release the classics for everyone to see.
I can see what the 3D films will become but it’s not there yet and very sub-standard. If 3D is the future then be it, BUT don’t make the consumer pay for the new introduction of technology - Stupid!! Oh and Heather, I’m with you on the remakes. I think we’re a talented bunch of unknown screenwriters with much to offer, it’s tough being at the bottom of the food train. Hail to all screenwriters - don’t give up! Kerri
I spoke to a gentleman, his father worked for Disney for years, who explained to me that the motive behind the remakes. $$$$$$ The studio’s already own the rights to these films therefore no money is spent out purchasing new material. They just resort back to the vaults. This includes any TV pieces - Bewitched, Starsky and Hutch, etc. Which is unfortunate. The writer for Bewitched was the same writer that worked on Jerry Lewis and Dean Martin movies. He also was well known for his literary talents. The writers today in the buisness are obviously less talented than their predecessors.
The hubris of the studio system, massive budgets and pie-in-the-sky income projections based on a new, wild-card technology is smelling a lot like the tech and housing bubbles. Big budget films usually take at least four hours to get the first shot of the day. The time table for the second shot is a crap shoot ranging from 5 minutes to 5 days. And now the system wants to add a 5000 pound boat anchor called 3D to the production process? Audiences now know post 3D doesn’t work and with production budgets already consistently between 150 and 200 million before adding 3D to the mix, it won’t take many 3D movie bombs to destroy a studio or two. Will the hero/villain called “Hollywood” learn from the mistakes of others and walk away from the path of doom?
I was disgusted at how bad Clash of the Titans was. Where can I claim for my money back??
col
The two great positives about being at the bottom of the ‘food chain’ -
1. you’re sure to get eaten (noticed!)
2. If it’s the bottom (the roots) that get all the crap, it is
also the roots (the bottom) that survive the storm.
so…smile… keep writing.
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